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Dragonwagon/Chrotchtangle Regionals, Elite Eight: #4 Smokey Don Pipesvs. #7 Leila Bossy-Nobs, #1 Fancy English, Jr. vs. #2 Leo MosesSpornstarr

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We've got two potential nail-biters on today's docket, folks, as well we should; two coveted Final Four slots are on the line.

Repping the north side of the Dragonwagon: the soothing sounds of #4 Smokey Don Pipes, Oklahoma shooting suspect, who steamrolled Dr. Suparman Marzuki and Twollie Vanderwerf in past rounds. He's up against 7-seeded intergalactic warlord-queen Leila Bossy-Nobs, the nanoparticle researcher who vanquished Sincere Shears, Jackmeoff Mudd, and Fang Man. Each already has an impressive collection of trophies; which contestant will end the week on the other's mantelpiece?

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Trouble's brewing down in the Chrotchtangle, as well. Top-seeded bank robberFancy English, Jr. is a force to be reckoned with: more powerful than a Hurricane, tastier on the tongue than Waffles. Still, Leo Moses Spornstarr remains the man who claimed the bounty on rogue 14-seed Ram Amandeep. Don't be fooled by the low seeding -- Amandeep was a fan favorite, an anti-hero, a people's champion. Now he's a message: you don't mess with a Spornstarr.

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That's it for this week. We'll give you until Sunday to vote for the winners. After that: the Final Four, then the title match. The end is nigh.

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